Being A Dad Without A Dad

Hopefully this story has only a few people that can relate, but being a dad without a dad, I’m going to write this anyway as I do all of my articles, in the hopes that it helps someone else out there.

My dad, I called him Papa, passed away in 2011 from lung cancer and brain cancer, by the time he found out, they told us pain pills and prayers were the only thing that would help. We were told to make our peace and say our goodbyes, he lived 6 weeks and I hadn’t spoken to him for a week when he passed. He was a great man with many bad qualities, and many great qualities, he was willing to help anyone, and tried to do so. He was always there for me, even when he was furious with me. He never hung up on me, never missed a call from me. We still didn’t see eye to eye all the time. Nonetheless, I know he loved me.

He died before I had met my wife, and before I was blessed with to beautiful boys that would carry on his last name. That sucks, there are nights that I stay up late and have a glass of whiskey to numb the pain. When I struggle with being a father and want to call him, it sucks. He is only a memory now, and I swear that my sons will know everything I do about him. He taught me how to cook, work on engines, and that everyone deserves a chance and even a second chance.

For my friends here that are Dads without a dad, it doesn’t get any easier. It never does. I try to live a life that would make him proud, raise boys he would be proud to see carry on his name. I try to be a better husband and father than he was, because he told me once that all he wanted was for me to be better than him. So, I try to live with all his good qualities and to forget the bad habits he had.

Most of my articles have tips on how to handle the situation I’m covering, but this time, I don’t really have many tips, as I hadn’t found out how to handle it myself. I still feel guilt for not being a better son, and not taking the cancer as seriously as I could have. Here are the few things that I do, comment on this if you have anything to add.

• Don’t let his legacy end with you, whether he was a doctor or a waiter, who he was helped mold you into the man you are. Tell your kids everything about him!

I planned on adding at least 5 things to this list, but my mind is blank. This entry is more of a personal favor to myself than a helpful blog. I hope somehow, this helps those that read it.

In Memory Of Mark Arceneaux

October 8, 1957 to July 17, 2011

A Dad Hack Original