Guys, I’m going to tell you now, stay at home parents do not have it easy. Whether it be Mom or Dad (the latter is becoming more common) staying home, it seems like it isn’t a lot of work to people who don’t do it. Let me explain through my personal experience.
When my wife and I became parents, we decided that she would stay home with our son, and I would continue working, as I made enough that we could still be comfortable with one income. At first, the house stayed spotless, our son was always being held, dinner was always cooked when I got home, and typically my lunch was made for work. I had it made! Then, slowly, she started slacking (or so it appeared). The house was getting cleaned less, I had to cook when I got home (she also was pregnant 3 months after our oldest was born). I remember thinking when I would get home, “WHAT DID YOU DO ALL DAY?!” It’s not like she had a hard job, she got to spend all day with our beautiful son, and all she had to do was change a few diapers, make a few bottles, and clean the house and cook the food, how hard could it be? I was sweating and bleeding in the oilfield for a minimum of 12 hour shifts, sometimes turning into 16 hour shifts. I didn’t say all this, because I’m not an idiot, but it stressed me out from time to time, and I am sure I could have been much more open minded and aware of what she did for us. I learned all this when I got laid off and she found a full time job. Oh boy, did I learn quickly. I’ll go through day one, at the end of which I was quite cocky about how productive I was.
Day one of being Mr. Mom started off pretty easily, by this time we had 2 sons, the youngest was 1 yr, the oldest was just under 2 yrs old. They actually slept til about 10 AM that first morning, so I even got a chance to have a cup of coffee while I watched the news and got breakfast ready. That day I played with them until nap time, and at nap time I cleaned the entire apartment except for their room in the 2 hours they napped. I also put away the laundry Heather had washed the night before, and started preparing dinner. When they woke up, I played with them until bath time, and I put them in bed. I even had the energy to make a quick candle light dinner for when Heather got home. Boy, was this easy! I didn’t understand what she was complaining about, I was loving this! I am sure I even mentioned how easy it was. She was a little impressed, or made me believe she was. I went to bed and was just tickled with myself. This continued for the next 3 days. No problems.
Day four was a nightmare. The boys woke up at 6 AM, Remington decided that life was over, and was a total nightmare, wanting to be held all day, Perrin decided he was going to throw everything that wasn’t bolted down over the balcony into the neighbors yard, so yay me. By 3 PM the house looked worse than I’d ever seen, the boys refused to nap, I was at wits end. Holy shit, I missed being at work. That night, the boys came down with a cold, so I had to stay up with them, especially when Heather pointed out that she had work the next day and that she had to do the same thing when I worked, so I didn’t sleep much that night. 7AM the next day, guess who was up and at it, feeling great while dad was exhausted. The laundry needed to be done, dishes were piling up, Heather was wondering why we weren’t being as intimate as we had been ( I was exhausted), dinner had to be cooked, and groceries had to be bought. Holy hell, I was lost. Eventually, I went back to work when a position opened up and I went to work with a new found respect for my wife. She was a superhero, she had done this for years, I only did it for a month!
I guess as an end note, I just want all of my Dads out there to realize that our wives do way more than we realize, and we all take it for granted. She cooks, cleans, keeps the kids alive and well, stays up with them all night, takes care of us when we get sick, does laundry, and still has the energy to be intimate with us. Plan a candle light dinner for her one night, just rub her feet, tell her to relax while you handle everything for a night. Trust me, on top of being the best husband ever, she will be grateful and a grateful wife is always a nice thing.
A DadHack Original
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